What Makes a Gentleman in Domestic Violence Victim Advocacy?

What Makes a Gentleman in Domestic Violence Victim Advocacy? 

This month, I’d like to talk a little more personally when it comes to sharing how Waypoint is encouraging community members to take a stand against domestic violence during October, National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I feel compelled to share a story on how domestic violence affected a friend and why I believe in the importance of our Gentleman Campaign.

This story is about an experience that a classmate of mine shared with me. My classmate’s partner at the time was never physically abusive, however, there were times when what he said to her, calling her dumb or worthless, would weigh on her enough that she believed it. Years later, I still remember how she kept muttering that she deserved it, that he was right in how he talked down to her. I always insisted otherwise, and I think she eventually found her own way to believe it. My classmate found her way to move on from that relationship and survive her experience. But her calls stay with me as a true story of what our Victim Advocates support victims/survivors with every day.

This story is why I believe in our Domestic Violence Victim Services Program and our Gentleman Campaign. Our Victim Advocates are trained to provide emotional support and identify resources that may be needed for a victim/survivor. Our Gentleman Campaign calls on exceptional gentlemen to take a stand and make a pledge of $100 to help end domestic violence in our community.

For the pledge, to be an exceptional gentleman, the commitment is to:

• Not commit acts of violence against others.
• Be a mentor to the younger generation.
• Model what a healthy relationship looks like
• Speak up to others if you see them committing acts of violence against others.
• Take a stand against domestic violence.

I have been thinking a lot about the pledge to be a gentleman this year, and what it means for our community. I believe it’s vital because data shows that “every minute, 32 people experience intimate partner violence in the United States.” By having more gentlemen take a stand, those stats could change for the better. It’s important for victims/survivors to know who they can talk to, and who will listen openly and seriously if or when they feel they need to open up about abuse that is happening in their relationships. 

To put it simply, domestic violence ends when we agree to keep our intimate relationships healthy, safe, and respectful. That means it’s always going to take at least two to tango in building healthy relationships, and that’s something men have to have a role in. Our Gentleman Campaign is an invitation to be a part of this needed change.

To learn more about our Gentleman Campaign or to pledge to be an Exceptional Gentleman, go here.

I also invite some additional reading for the stats I quoted from Break the Cycle here.

For further readings on the role men can play in preventing violence against women, go here.

-Thoughts by Jade Riley, Waypoint Volunteer and Community Engagement Coordinator

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